Celebrate

When it’s somebody’s birthday we celebrate them. We throw a party, we buy them presents, we eat cake. 

They didn’t have to get a big promotion, pass a test, get the new job or a giant raise in order for us to blow up the balloons. We celebrate them because they were born period.

Something else we like to do is celebrate big accomplishments and milestones. 

These accomplishments are generally easy for us to recognize and celebrate because they are validated by others and they are measurable.   

But what about the little accomplishments that we make every single day? The things nobody else sees, the small tasks done that are building up to those big accomplishments and milestones. 

These are also more than worthy of celebration.

But these are also often overlooked.

Recently in our extended family we celebrated a 70th wedding anniversary. As I reflected on this accomplishment it got me thinking about all of the many small wins that inevitably amounted to this amazing milestone. 

Whether we celebrate them or not daily wins are there.  

As a Mom can you turn your never ending to do list into a list of accomplishments to celebrate?

When you are looking for reasons to celebrate it benefits you with greater confidence, a more positive attitude and motivation to keep on going when life is hard. 

These wins do not have to be big and flashy in order to give yourself a little credit, a way to go or a good job!

Make the smallest thing something worth celebrating today. 


A Dirty Little Word

I recently heard failure being referred to as a “Dirty Word”.

As in, why would we want to talk about failure or acknowledge it?

The other day when we were walking the dog, my kids wanted to play two truths and a lie. They love this game!

When it was my turn I racked my brain. I wanted to stump them. (I just might be a little  competitive)

Here’s what I came up with:

  • I’ve had 3 piercings
  • I never failed a drivers test
  • I took my first swimming lesson when I was in college.

What’s your guess??

The lie was that I never failed a driver’s test.

They all assumed this one was true. Probably because they witness my amazing driving skills daily!

I got to tell them that I actually did fail a driver’s test and that I  believe that the reason I am such a great driver now is that I failed the first time and had to try again.

I told them how humiliated and hard that fail was at the time. 

I told them that looking back I am so glad I failed. 

I am so much more experienced and prepared on the road because of it, not to mention more experienced in failure.

As I explained this to them it reinforced my beliefs about failure even more.

Failing is not shameful, dirty, or bad.

Failing is actually the opposite.

As we fail more, we learn more, as we learn more we can be more.

I think the reason failure gets such a dirty wrap sometimes is because of what we make it mean about us.

Attaching our worth to our failures and successes keeps us turned in.

To fail forward we must be looking out for what we can learn.

It is a challenge to welcome failure, but we can get better at it by working on our beliefs about it.

Instead of avoiding that ‘dirty word’ choose to embrace it with the attitude that it’s refining you and allowing you to become the 2.0 version of yourself!

Want to start becoming your 2.0?

Especially when I don’t want to

I’ve been practicing doing things especially when I don’t want to.

For me, this has looked like doing my workout even when I’m dead tired. 

It’s been choosing not to have a late-night dessert buffet even when I believe I really deserve it.

It has meant working on my coaching practice even when Netflix is calling.

It’s been saying no to people so that I can have more quality time with my family.

With each and every one of these examples from my life, I fight with myself.

My brain tries to justify all of it.

I have to be really forceful and remind myself of all the reasons why I actually do want to do the things that I said I would.

The reason we often don’t stick to our plans is that when something feels uncomfortable our brains think that something is wrong. 

When we believe something is wrong we immediately want to fix it. 

The fixes my brain offers me are of course skipping the workout, saying yes to please others when I don’t want to do the thing, having ice cream and brownies before bed, and watching the newest Hallmark Christmas movie.

Every single time I think I have ‘fixed’ a problem I end up creating more for myself.

When I don’t take care of my body I have less energy and strength.

When I don’t get my work done I indulge in overwhelm and worry.

When I am spending time away from my family trying to make other people happy I harbor frustration and resentment.

Not wanting to do something at the moment that I have planned has become a big RED flag for me. It’s my cue to just feel uncomfortable while doing the thing anyway.

As I have experimented with this, something amazing and unexpected has happened in my life.

My self-confidence has skyrocketed.

When you start actually doing the things that you said you would more confidence comes to you as a result.

More confidence is not uncomfortable at all, it’s actually pretty awesome!

What’s the one thing in your life that you easily justify not doing at the moment? 

This week start doing it anyway.

You will not be disappointed that you did!

Three ways to start living as your best self this week.

 
  • Sign up for FREE coaching. You will get one-on-one coaching on anything you are struggling with right now. Click here to book your  Session 
  • Take advantage of my FREE overeating online workshop. Come join me Thursday Nov 26th @7:30 pm. Sign up here

 

Permission Slips

When I was young getting permission from my parents was how it worked.

When I wanted to do something with my friends, I asked my parents for permission first.

As I got older there was a shift. I got to start giving myself permission to do the things that I wanted to do.

This felt like freedom.

It was pretty awesome for me as a young adult out on my own in the world. 

We are usually good at giving ourselves permission to do things that we want to do when it’s comfortable, tangible and exciting.

For example:

I gave myself permission to go skydiving at 18 because I now could and there was nothing my Dad could do about it! 

**Sidenote: Skydiving was even more amazing than the look on my Dad’s face when I showed him the video of me doing it.

Giving ourselves permission is not always easy though, especially when it involves believing something different about ourselves or the world.

As I have coached myself and other women I have found so much congruity in the things that we struggle to give ourselves permission for.

Do you give yourself permission to have fun, Or are you too busy for that?

Will you give yourself permission to love yourself, or do you believe that you are too undeserving of love?

Can you give yourself permission to say no, or do you believe that kindness means saying yes?

Do you give yourself permission to love others when you don’t love the things they do, or do you believe punishing them is necessary?

Will you give yourself permission to listen to your own heart or do you trust more in the opinions of others?

Can you give yourself permission to be yourself no matter the consequence, or is validation from others too important?

At the root of all of these, is a thought and belief that makes it impossible to choose the option that is in integrity with our highest self.

The best way to start giving ourselves permission to believe new things is to open up to the idea that we can! 

There is so much freedom in our own ability to choose and give ourselves permission to think differently.

Maybe even more freedom than skydiving! 

Any thought is available to you and the only person you need a permission slip from to believe those thoughts is you.

Want some support to help you start thinking your way to a new you?

 
 
  • Send me an email at lauradrycoaching@gmail.com or a DM on any of the social sites from above. I would love to chat with you or answer any questions you may have.

How I didn’t get six-pack abs.

My husband once told me that he used to have a six-pack. 

It was back when he was in high school and he was on a water polo team. 

I have never played water polo but I do know that you have to be really good at treading water to be any good at the game.

Treading water just happens to be a really great workout, hence my husband’s late six-pack abs.”

The funny thing is I used to tread water A LOT only I have never had six-pack abs…rip-off!!!

The difference was… I was treading water in my life, not in a pool.

Instead of six-pack abs, I got anxiety, overwhelm, exhaustion, self-pity, and a whole lot of self-doubt to carry around.

I carried it silently.

I was silently suffering every day.

I was being a Mom to my four kids, I was working, I was trying to be a good wife, and also fulfill all my other commitments and obligations. 

From the outside, I might have seemed like I had things together.

From the inside, I was drowning.

The feelings I was experiencing consumed me.

I remember at one point being so afraid that I was going to break down and have everything I was so carefully hiding, spill out for the whole world to see. I was so fearful of the judgments of others. I didn’t want anyone’s pity and I certainly didn’t think I could handle anybody snickering behind my back.

Life was not fun or purposeful.  

I avoided happy people.

Happy people forced me to face the question I was already thinking to myself:

“What was wrong with me?”

I was so filled with anxiety that I could not fathom not feeling it.

I went on like this for so long.

Too long. 

The moment I decided to ask for help was both terrifying and liberating.

Just admitting to myself that I couldn’t and didn’t have to face this alone, and realizing that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, was a huge shift for me.

From there the whole trajectory of my life changed.

I am still a work in progress. I believe we all are for the duration of our lives.

The difference for me now is that when I have those days where I feel like I am treading water I dry myself off and continue moving forward, learning and progressing my way to the next day because I now have the tools.

You can change the trajectory of your life too. 

I teach Moms the tools they need to stop drowning and start living.

I know these tools work because I am living proof.

If you are silently suffering, reach out. 

Are you living the life you want to be?

I help moms cut their stress, overwhelm, and guilt in half so they can start living life instead of drowning in it.

End your silent suffering and reach out.

Three ways you can reach out today

 
  • Sign up for a FREE coaching consultation to learn about my 12-week program and how it can help you stop drowning. Click here to book a free consultation to see if this is might be the right fit for you.
 
  • Send me an email at lauradrycoaching@gmail.com or a DM on any of the social sites from above. I would love to chat with you or answer any questions you may have.

Worry Wart

There are so many things we like to worry about.
 

I can’t tell you how many times I have worried about a deadline, kids stuff, speaking in public, a test, or something I said or did.

I would waste so much time getting others’ opinions. I would question and rethink everything. I would sit in my worry and feel like there was no way out of it.

At the moment it sometimes feels wrong not to worry.

It almost feels as if we have no control over it and it’s absolutely necessary.

Hindsight is 20/20 though.

After the fact, we might realize that the worry actually isn’t necessary at all. And in my experience, this is always the case.

After I speak in public I almost always ask myself what the big deal was. “Why were you so worried about that?”

I like to decide that worry is never useful and just telling myself this at the moment is enough to stop my spin and save me so much time.

So, what about when hindsight is not exactly 20/20?

We can be oblivious to our worry and what it is creating for us.

Worry can become an emotion that we indulge in regularly as a way to cover up other emotions that we need to address.

Here are some great questions you can ask yourself to help you do a personal check-in for yourself:

  • How often are you feeling worried?
  • Could you go a day, week, or month without experiencing this feeling? Why or why not?
  • Could you go a day, week, or month without indulging in it? Why or why not?
  • Can you see a reason why you might want to keep indulging in this emotion?
  • What might this cost you if you do?

You can certainly decide to choose to worry, but deciding that worry is never useful is also an option.

Choose the option that’s going to support the life you want to be living.

Let’s calm the chaos in your mind so that you can stop drowning, and start living the life you are meant to be living.

I help working Mom’s make Confidence, Courage and Calm a part of their everyday routine.

Join me for a FREE coaching consultation where I will show you the one tool I use that changes everything.

Lots of people come to consults not really knowing what coaching is all about.
If this is you, I’ve got you. 
I can’t wait to meet you in ZOOM!

Book your appointment today by clicking below.

Having Enough Time

Time felt so abundant when I was young and single and only taking care of me.

It seemed like life was moving slowly.

When I got married, time still seemed to move pretty slow.

Then we had our first baby, second baby, third and fourth baby. 

I added a lot to my life in a 7-year span. 

I went back to working from home 6-weeks postpartum with each one of them. I was up lots in the night and when morning came I was open for business sleep or no sleep.

I’m not going to lie, being a Mom and working…. Not the easiest thing I have ever done.

All of a sudden time seemed to be moving at lightning speed. There never seemed to be enough and I was desperate for more of it.

I wanted more time for sleep, more time on the weekends to relax, more alone time and more time to run errands and do fun family stuff. 

It seemed to me that my kids and my job and many of my other responsibilities were eating up all of my time. There just wasn’t enough anymore.

Sure, my life had changed and there was certainly more going on, but does that really mean I didn’t have enough time? 

I sure thought it did.

When I realized that the number of hours in my day was actually exactly the same as my single days…. lightbulb.

When I learned that things happening or not happening around me were NOT creating my urgency, panic, frustration, or scarcity around time…. gamechanger.

Whenever the sneaky little thought “I don’t have enough time” tries to ride shotgun with me I send it to the backseat.

I like to replace that thought instead with something much more helpful.

  • There is always enough time
  • Time doesn’t create success, my thinking does
  • I choose how I spend my time
  • I want to spend my time doing _________
  • I get to choose what I believe about time
  • I have just enough time
  • Time is a tool that helps me
  • I don’t need more time to feel better I need better thinking to feel good about my time.
The next time you tell yourself that there’s just not enough time, go ahead and send that thought to the backseat of you want to. 

I bet that you will discover that SO MUCH MORE TIME will become available to you as a result.

I help working moms calm the chaos in their minds so that they can stop drowning, be more productive, and more present at home.

Working on scarcity around time is something that rarely doesn’t come up in my coaching practice.

As working Mom’s we all have different circumstances but our thoughts and feelings are all too often exactly the same.

You aren’t the only one Mama.

I want to invite you to get to know the new you that’s 50% more
 Calm, Courageous & Confident in all areas of your life.

Join me for a FREE coaching consultation where I will show you how you can get started on all of the above without quitting your job, trading in any of your kids, or reciting generic hard to believe daily affirmations.

Lots of people come to consults not really knowing what coaching is all about.
If this is you, I’ve got you. 
I can’t wait to meet you in ZOOM!

Book your appointment today by clicking below.

Validation Creation

Us humans, we love validation.

We love having even just one person agree or believe us because our brain is very busily seeking validation to know if we are right, that our choices are good choices, and above all that we are not wrong.

Isn’t that the key? Don’t ever be wrong.

We will avoid being wrong at all costs, won’t we?

But sometimes maybe we DO want to be wrong.

Maybe we want to be wrong when what we are believing is causing us pain, keeping us stuck, or creating a very grumpy mom or wife.

Here are some common examples: 

Are you thinking that you are behind? If so, you might want to be wrong about that

Are you thinking that you are doing it all wrong parenting your child?  Maybe you want to be wrong about that.

Are you thinking that you aren’t actually smart enough for the promotion you got? Just maybe you want to be wrong there.

Are you thinking that there is something wrong with you? Being wrong about that can only serve you.

There is one simple thing that you can do to allow yourself to be wrong more.

I like to call it validation creation.

You are going to get busy validating your brain’s thinking. All this means is that you are accepting and owning the thoughts you are having without judgment.

You validate your thinking and then you either keep it, or you will surprise your brain by choosing a different thought that serves you much better.

It sounds like this:

  • “Oh hey, brain, yes you really like to tell me that I am behind, but today I’m not having that. I am choosing to think that I am right where I am supposed to be.”
  • “Yep, there it is the shame and guilt that comes from believing I am doing this parenting thing all wrong. I’m actually going to consider instead that parenting is hard for everyone, and I am getting better at it every day.”
  • “Uh-huh, yes brain I’ve got it. I am not smart enough.. yes I hear you and instead I am going to choose to believe that I totally made that promotion happen.”
  • “I feel like I am going crazy and something is wrong with me. I am so tired of you telling me this brain. I am willing to believe instead that actually nothing has gone wrong here.”

Validate the thoughts you are having whether they serve you or not and be willing to be wrong about them if they are creating negative results for you. 

Decide to help your brain consider another option that moves you forward, feels good, and strengthens your relationship with yourself.

I help working moms calm the chaos in their minds so that they can stop drowning, be more productive, and be more present when they are with their family.

Wanna be a Calm, Courageous & Confident Mom?

Join me for a FREE coaching consultation where we will dive into a personal plan tailored to helping you feel better and showing up for your life in the most amazing way!

Being resilient

When I think of the word resilient I picture in my mind a freshly waxed windshield being pelted with a ferocious rainstorm. The water doesn’t even stick. It just rolls right off. It’s as if the windshield isn’t even being touched.

Life’s rainstorms can come in many forms, but they will likely all fall into one of these categories: Tragedy, Trauma, Adversity or Stress.

There is nobody I know that doesn’t have something going on in at-least one of these categories. 

We all face personal trials. We are not immune to the suffering that tragedy brings. We experience lots of different traumas, and I think it goes without saying that stress is a huge factor in our daily lives.

So, how equipped are you to handle and adapt to the things that life throws at you?

How resilient are you?

The thing is, there isn’t a formula that can actually measure resilience. 

Resilience is something that is personal to each unique individual and as a result looks different for each of us. 

What I can tell you though, is that resilience is like kindness, you can never have too much in your life.

If you want more I recommend evaluating your life using the 4 following components:

Connection, Self-Care, Purpose and Thinking.

Connection is established through our relationships with others. When we have strong relationships in our lives we have a fortress around us. We have support and built in strength when we are lacking our own.

Self-Care is something that we are hearing more about lately. This is not just a fad or the in-thing. Taking time to take care of your own needs makes you better able to show up in your relationships with others and for yourself. 

When you have your own purpose, you have a reason to wake up in the morning. Finding the thing that excites you and keeps you motivated can fuel you no matter your circumstances. 

Lastly but certainly not least is thinking about your thinking. Being aware of the things that are going on in your brain gives you control over how you feel and ultimately the things you decide to do and not do each and every day. Some of your greatest power lives inside your own brain.

 Prepare now by taking your own inventory of these four areas of your life.

More resilience can make all the difference when you are weathering one of life’s storms.




Once you have taken your personal inventory of where you’re at.. what’s next?

Do you want to work on some of these areas in your own life but don’t know where to start?

Does it feel impossible to find the time for self-care?

Are you overwhelmed thinking about planning ahead or setting goals for your future?

These are common struggles that my clients bring to me often.

Let’s talk about it on a free coaching call.

I can help you eliminate the overwhelm that just thinking about these things brings for you and replace it with a solid plan of action to help you acquire the resilience you need.

Book your session with me below to learn more.

PS: You don’t need to come to the session with anything prepared. I will do all the work! No more excuses. Let’s go.

They don’t like me?

There have been so many times in my life where I have shown up to the party, given my all, and tried my very hardest, and people have been less than impressed with me.

My response to that used to be an immediate flood of shame and embarrassment.

I would throw myself a pity party and spiral into more painful thoughts about how I wasn’t good enough.

When I was done crying about it I would put together a plan. This plan was to do everything I could possibly think of to make this un-interested person like me.

This was always so exhausting and rarely made me feel better.

Do you know what I discovered that makes me feel better now?

It’s not anything I do differently or a secret scent I spray on myself in the morning.

The secret is just 4 little words.

“I’m not for everyone.”

It’s ok if someone out there doesn’t like me.

It’s ok if my ideas at work aren’t validated.

It’s ok if someone thinks I’m doing this parenting thing all wrong.

It’s ok if I don’t get invited.

It’s all ok because honestly, every single person out there isn’t going to be for me either. 

When we truly believe this we can get busy living the life we choose instead of living the one that we think will make us more likeable, validated and comfortable.

Do you know what’s actually uncomfortable?

Hiding the real you just in case someone decides they aren’t interested.

Hiding YOU and all the things that make you amazing to avoid feeling bad is not your only option.

You are not for everyone and I promise you that’s ok.