Validation Creation

Us humans, we love validation.

We love having even just one person agree or believe us because our brain is very busily seeking validation to know if we are right, that our choices are good choices, and above all that we are not wrong.

Isn’t that the key? Don’t ever be wrong.

We will avoid being wrong at all costs, won’t we?

But sometimes maybe we DO want to be wrong.

Maybe we want to be wrong when what we are believing is causing us pain, keeping us stuck, or creating a very grumpy mom or wife.

Here are some common examples: 

Are you thinking that you are behind? If so, you might want to be wrong about that

Are you thinking that you are doing it all wrong parenting your child?  Maybe you want to be wrong about that.

Are you thinking that you aren’t actually smart enough for the promotion you got? Just maybe you want to be wrong there.

Are you thinking that there is something wrong with you? Being wrong about that can only serve you.

There is one simple thing that you can do to allow yourself to be wrong more.

I like to call it validation creation.

You are going to get busy validating your brain’s thinking. All this means is that you are accepting and owning the thoughts you are having without judgment.

You validate your thinking and then you either keep it, or you will surprise your brain by choosing a different thought that serves you much better.

It sounds like this:

  • “Oh hey, brain, yes you really like to tell me that I am behind, but today I’m not having that. I am choosing to think that I am right where I am supposed to be.”
  • “Yep, there it is the shame and guilt that comes from believing I am doing this parenting thing all wrong. I’m actually going to consider instead that parenting is hard for everyone, and I am getting better at it every day.”
  • “Uh-huh, yes brain I’ve got it. I am not smart enough.. yes I hear you and instead I am going to choose to believe that I totally made that promotion happen.”
  • “I feel like I am going crazy and something is wrong with me. I am so tired of you telling me this brain. I am willing to believe instead that actually nothing has gone wrong here.”

Validate the thoughts you are having whether they serve you or not and be willing to be wrong about them if they are creating negative results for you. 

Decide to help your brain consider another option that moves you forward, feels good, and strengthens your relationship with yourself.

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