I’m not excited

It’s back to school time.

My kids are all set, they’ve got their supplies, new clothes and they are excited to see all the missed faces after the extended 5 month summer.

But me, I’m not excited.

Maybe this isn’t a big deal but compared to my normal it’s a bit off putting for me.

I usually love the approach of fall. The new season, the fresh start. Back to school and back to sturdier schedules and routine. 

So why do I feel so different this year?

Why does excitement feel impossible.

After some reflection I came up with some answers to this why.

This year I am not as willing to allow myself excitement.

Why should I?

Masks aren’t exciting,

The prospect of possible closures or back to online school is even less exciting.

The unknowns of how the fall will ultimately unfold is more stressful than exciting.

Constant hand washing/sanitizing  and having to worry walking down the store aisles in the right direction…. not exciting.

Feeling excitement at a time like this feels so wrong, when there is so much evidence proving to me that I should be worried, scared and overwhelmed with these current circumstances and the unknown.

But the thing is… I actually love feeling excited. I want to feel it. 

So why am I denying myself of feeling it.

This is such a good question.

An even better answer is that nothing or nobody is stopping me from being excited but me.

Excitement in my life will serve me far better than none at all and I can choose it no matter what is going on with school.

To help me on my quest to find that excitement, I come to you with my list of thoughts that are helping me create it.

  • We are living through some history that is going to be talked about for years to come. 
  • My family and I are learning skills we wouldn’t otherwise have to as we adapt to life changes.
  • Not knowing what is going to happen in the future means that anything is possible, even our wildest dreams.
  • I love the color changes we see in Fall. 
  • I have 4 whole months left in 2020 to make some amazing changes to me.
  • Things that are happening or will happen are always happening FOR me.
  • I don’t have to be excited, I want to be.
  • I might get one non interrupted work day! Woohoo.. (So exiciting!)
  • If not… I can totally do online school with the kids because I’ve already done it once.

I challenge you to come up with your own list, or even one thought that creates some excitement.

Why should you??

Because excitement is fun and we could all use just a pinch more fun these days.

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