I remember when my husband told me that he used to have a six-pack.
Unfortunately for me, I didn’t know him then!!
It was back when he was in high school and he was on a water polo team.
I have never played water polo but I do know that you have to be really good at treading water to be any good at the game.
Treading water just happens to be a really great workout, hence my husband’s late six-pack abs.”
The funny thing is I used to tread water A LOT only I have never had six-pack abs…rip-off!!!
The difference was… I was treading water in my life, not in a pool.
Instead of six-pack abs, I got anxiety, overwhelm, exhaustion, self-pity, and a whole lot of self-doubt to carry around.
I carried it silently.
I was silently suffering every day.
I was being a Mom to my four kids, I was working, I was trying to be a good wife, and also fulfill all my other commitments and obligations.
From the outside, I might have seemed like I had things together.
From the inside, I was drowning.
The feelings I was experiencing consumed me.
I remember at one point being so afraid that I was going to break down and have everything I was so carefully hiding, spill out for the whole world to see. I was so fearful of the judgments of others. I didn’t want anyone’s pity and I certainly didn’t think I could handle anybody snickering behind my back.
Life was not fun or purposeful.
I avoided happy people.
Happy people forced me to face the question I was already thinking to myself:
“What was wrong with me?”
I was so filled with anxiety that I could not fathom not feeling it.
I went on like this for so long.
The moment I decided to ask for help was both terrifying and liberating.
Just admitting to myself that I couldn’t and didn’t have to face this alone, and realizing that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, was a huge shift for me.
From there the whole trajectory of my life changed.
I am still a work in progress. I believe we all are for the duration of our lives.
The difference for me now is that when I have those days where I feel like I am treading water I dry myself off and continue moving forward, learning and progressing my way to the next day because I now have the tools.
You can change the trajectory of your life too.
I teach Moms the tools they need to stop drowning and start living.
I know these tools work because I am living proof.
If you are silently suffering, reach out.