Are you secretly stewing about the imminent gatherings that bring you and your family together as the holidays grow nearer?
Maybe there’s that one difficult family member that just creates so much drama??? Maybe you day-dream about a holiday that avoids the extended family all together.
I hear stories like this:
“She is just so unreasonable.”
“She always makes me feel so inadequate.”
“He has no idea what it’s like.”
“She is the queen of passive aggressive.”
“She is just so difficult.”
“I can’t believe she said this to me.”
“I can never do anything right.”
I know the struggle is real my friends, so let me share the secret to Holiday Cheer!
Are you ready for all your family drama to disappear?
Here it is:
All of our FEELINGS are created by OUR thoughts 100% of the time PERIOD.
The negative emotions that you are feeling at the holidays are not because of anyone or anything.
GOOD or BAD, your feelings are created by your thinking.
What? wait now….. this cannot be true. Actually, I promise you it is.
We have been conditioned to believe that other people are responsible for how we feel. This belief has been taught to us since we were small. Here’s what that might have looked like:
“Suzy said she doesn’t like my LEGO, Suzy hurt my feelings.” “I’m sad because Jimmy won’t play with me.” You get the picture.
This is how we teach our children to deal with their emotions. Their brains are still developing and they don’t have the same logic and reasoning that we as adults have the capacity for.
Unfortunately many of us adults still live in this world of “Emotional Childhood”. We avoid and resist the responsibility of our own feelings.
This allows others complete control over OUR emotions. We are left feeling powerless, alone and in resistance to reality.
The good news is, that all of our thoughts are optional.
Did you know that you can just give yourself permission to try on some new thoughts this Holiday season?
You could decide to think instead that:
“She has a lot going on.”
“Unconditional love always feels better no matter what.”
“This is my opportunity to work on myself.”
“I have a family.”
In a nutshell, if you are looking for anyone to blame for how you feel, take a big beautiful look in the mirror. What you will see is YOU. You are the only one you really have the power to change.