Our human brains are wired for connection. We need it, we seek it and we thrive from it.
I am reading a book right now called “Kids these days” by Jody Carrington. One of my biggest takeaways so far is the need children have for deep and meaningful connections with those that spend the most time with them. Caregivers, teachers, parents, and family.
It is through these connections that they learn the basic fundamental skills to love, share, show empathy, and regulate their emotions.
None of this was big news to me, but when I was reading the pages it felt like big NEW news because I realized that the way that we connect these days is so different than what it used to be.
The world is changing and the way we are connecting with each other is different, only we are still the same old humans with human brains seeking and missing the same old connection.
I have been reflecting on some of my own personal connections with my loved ones.
After the last few months of not being in as close a contact with people to the extent that I had been due to the pandemic, I noticed how much I was missing family gatherings and game nights and having company over for dinner.
I also noticed that sometimes the people I love the most and spend the most time with, are the ones that I so easily ignore connection with, am to busy to make connections with, or they are the ones that I take connection for granted with the most.
I have been trying to ask myself, “What is getting in the way of making a meaningful connection here?”
Here’s a few things I came up with……
Sometimes it’s an argument, maybe it’s that I want to be right, maybe it’s that I am tired and just want to be done for the day, maybe it’s negative thinking about someone or something someones says or does or maybe it’s that I’m just ‘too busy’ and don’t take the time for it.
Whatever the reason is, I want to be more aware of it. I want to make sure that I like my reason for saying no to connection because when I say no I am preventing myself from filling that inherent need that I have.
It’s so interesting to me how we do this.
We need connection and want it yet WE prevent ourselves from having it.
When we are aware, we can ask ourselves how to create more meaningful connections, and then go do it. When we do this we are helping to fill one of our basic human needs, and when those needs are met we are happier, healthier humans!!
Creating more connections could look like spending just a few more minutes listening, swallowing pride, staying up later than planned to talk something out, or making a phone call instead of sending a text.
This week I am challenging myself to be more intentional about my connections with others, especially those that I am in closest contact with daily.
I’m all in for being a happier healthier human.
Are you in?