When I was a teenager, you could often find me awake at 3am working in exhaustion to complete a project due the next morning.
In all honesty completing the project was never the issue. The project was probably done, and done well. The issue for me was this pressure I put on MYSELF for it to be just PERFECT.
If my project could be perfect then I would get to feel smart and validated. If I felt my project was better than someone else’s this also made me feel a sense of accomplishment. What I really made it mean was that if it was amazing I could let myself believe that I was amazing.
Flash forward 20 years to my life now, which includes a husband, a job, a house, 4 kids and a dog! If I thought getting high school assignments done perfectly was stressful, I was surely misinformed.
Now I have birthday parties, hair do’s, lunches and back to school outfits to make perfect. Not to mention the balancing of all the other responsibilities working mothers with young children juggle. I believed that if I did all the things that Mom’s were SUPPOSED to do and did them PERFECTLY, then I would feel like I was enough.
This need I had to be perfect is what was driving me to do everything that I did. This drive left me feeling tired, worn out and miserable. The result for me was that I ultimately missed out on being IN the moments of my life. I tried so hard, yet I continued to feel everything but perfect.
My life altering revelation was that “Perfection is NOT confidence“. Doing things perfectly was not what was going to make me feel like I was good enough. No outside circumstance can change how we feel. Feelings are created with our thoughts.
My confidence and self assurance as a mother has only come through believing that no matter how a task is completed, no matter how amazing or plain or boring, fun or organized my day is, it is exactly how it is supposed to be.
Did you know that you can just decide to think whatever you want about anything?? This is how I have been able to shift the way that I think about perfection.
Here are the two things I have decided to believe:
1) I am the PERFECT Mom for MY kids everyday just as I am
2) B minus work is where it’s at!
I choose these thoughts over the ones my brain likes to serve up for me because they allow me to be more present . These thoughts serve me so much better.
One more thing………..these thoughts are FREE and available to you if you want them. Try them on and take them home. You won’t be sorry.
Today can be a perfect day in all of it’s imperfection.
