For the first decade that I was a Mom I was in the habit of hiding the tough days. I didn’t lie about them I just omitted to share them. If I was asked how I was or how my day was going my response was always “Good”.
I shared my struggles with nobody but my husband. For me sharing a bad day at work, or letting a mom friend know that I was struggling with a child was like admitting defeat. I wasn’t about to broadcast my weaknesses. Admitting them to someone else meant that I would have to admit them to myself and face the stories I was already believing about myself.
You know the stories…… they may vary for you but mine were that I was screwing up my kids and everyone else thought so to. I was mediocre at my job, and everyone was talking about me and my mediocre skills behind my back. I wasn’t going to be one of those Mom’s who asked for help because GOOD Mom’s don’t struggle and they certainly don’t ask for help.
I truly believed these stories.
One day when my anxiety was at it’s height and I was scared and unable to just avoid it anymore, my family Doctor gave me permission to be honest with myself and him.
I was petrified to admit my defeat. I was not a perfect Mom and now my Doctor was going to know it. When I was done talking, I looked up to meet his face. He didn’t look back at me with judgy failure eyes like I had expected, he responded by saying that I was not alone and that he recommended that I get some help.
What??!! People really ask for help for this kind of thing and it’s no big deal…….
This blew my mind.
It opened a new window for me in my life.
My courage to speak up that day in the Doctors office completely changed the trajectory of my life.
It allowed me to find the help that I needed. It led me to understand the WHY’s behind my overwhelm and anxiety and that has allowed me to have power over my emotions rather than being at the effect of them.
I no longer carry the stigmas I used to about mental health and seeking help. In their place is a strong desire to learn, grow and become a better version of myself.
I now know that when we struggle and we go looking for help it isn’t weak at all, it is COURAGE.
If you are struggling and are hesitant to reach out for help I totally get you.
When you are ready, relief is one courageous step away.
Learning, growing, and finding relief is not weak and you are NOT alone.